Actual quote on a yahoo group. This isn't the entire statement but it gives you an idea of the ignorance that prevails about the Trust Birth Initiative. Everywhere I turn there are major misconceptions about Trust Birth. It is one thing to not know, but there is a pretty good explanation on www.trustbirth.com. We aren't a secret society. If you read something like this, please ask one of us if it is true before passing it on....even with supposition in the sentence.....it is damaging.

   Just for the record, if I were determining the definition of midwife, it would be MAM --- mother appointed midwife. I think women have the right to have anyone they want at their birth, whether she calls herself a midwife or not. HOWEVER, If I were to determine the level of knowledge or education that a woman should aspire to, before calling herself midwife, then it would be the level of the intensive 42 month education that I have been providing for 30 years. I think a midwife is far more qualified to be a hands off midwife (one who does not introduce added risk) the more she knows. I do not think midwives should be medical in any way or try to be quasi doctors.... but I hope that any midwife would know when to seek medical attention. There is no "undermining of the role of the medical community" going on in TBI. I believe that my philosophy is one of keeping birth safe, not undermining safety. But then again, I believe that birth is safe and interference is risky. Actually, I don't think midwives Keep birth safe as much as I believe that birth IS safe.

   Another person told me in the last few days: "I wanted to become a Trust Birth facilitator but I didn't have a UC. I had a midwife at my birth." Please know that I am not anti-midwife and UC is not a prerequisite for membership in the Trust Birth Initiative. Our "requirement" is that our facilitators believe that birth is safe and that a woman has a right to have anyone or no one attend her birth.

   Please check us out for yourself,

~Carla

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   • First, using the Trust Birth button over the weekend does not mean you love me personally. Evidently that would be offensive to some. However, it is true that I started the Trust Birth "movement" in 2005, so as an organization it was founded on my beliefs. Therefore, those beliefs and I are the subject of a lot of conjecture and ridicule. You might be putting yourself in the line of fire by using it. There has been some bullying to try to get people to change theirs back. Sad, really. But not new. I know women who have lost friends and even apprenticeships for having any relationship with me or Trust Birth. 

   • Everyone who says they are a TB midwife, may or may not be a part of our organization, or even be familiar with what we stand for. They may just like the term Trust Birth midwife. Please do not get upset with me or with Trust Birth if you don't like someone who says she is a TB midwife. Chances are, you would not like her regardless of what she calls herself. I have no ability to change that or to regulate who says they are a Trust Birth midwife. 

   • I never tell anyone to go "friend" anyone. I don't have spies. I don't care nearly as much as people think that I do about what goes on in those camps where I am the topic of conversation or Trust Birth is the topic of conversation. I have learned that in those circles the truth is not valued highly, for if it was, people would ask, rather than presume. I think of the old saying, "Why bother with the truth when lies serve better?"

   • I don't post anonymously anywhere. Why would I?

   • I know that things can go wrong in birth. Life is not perfect, as I oh so well know, having lost my husband just a few months ago. But, I believe that most of what does go wrong in a birth is likely precipitated by some kind of interference. Could be something that is said or done to the mother. Could be just an attitude. I believe that birth where women have access to decent nutrition and safe living conditions is probably far safer than we know. We don't know just how safe birth can be because it is so seldom left alone anywhere.

   • I love midwifery. Obviously, helping women become midwives is what I have been doing since 1981. Furthermore, I believe that midwifery education should be really, really, really hard. Actually I think women should invest a lot more time in becoming a midwife than it takes to get a CPM. I think midwives need a comprehensive, applicable education. Midwives who start fiddling with birth without fully understanding what harm they could be doing are dangerous. www.ancientartmidwifery.com

   • I don't actually know when the term medwife was coined. I know it has been in the vernacular for at least 34 years. Some people used to call CNMs medwives. But, as I use it, it means someone who MEDDLES with birth. It has nothing to do whether or not a midwife carries meds, or uses meds. It is about meddling with the natural process and that is done in a million ways that do not necessarily involve drugs. However, if you are using drugs to induce or augment labor, you most definitely would be a medwife both ways of looking at that definition.

   • I am not out to "get" or to vilify anyone. Why would I? 

   • The Trust Birth "idea" has been accused of tearing apart the natural birth movement. How is it that the idea of trusting birth is damaging to anyone but those who have a vested interested in keeping women fearful of birth? The midwives I know, who I consider Trust Birth midwives, are not at all interested in destroying or tearing apart the natural birth movement, they just want to have a say in defining it. Shouldn't helping women trust birth be included in the conversation without us being accused of attacking?

   • Confession: Guilty as charged on one accusation: We are NOT about uniting midwives. We are NOT about midwives. We won't idolize midwifery. We are about mothers and babies. We are not going to stand with anyone who doesn't believe that mothers have the right to choose anyone or no one. The assumption that all midwives are good midwives or authentic, "with woman" midwives is flawed. We won't take sides with a midwife who abuses women just because she is a midwife. If that is seen as not playing nice, sorry. To reiterate: Uniting midwives is not our goal. Dividing midwives was not our intent, but if that is the result, then so be it. Those who believe that midwifery is about doing something TO mothers and babies on one side of the room, and those who desire to do something FOR mothers and babies on the other.

   • Trust Birth is not out to attack any individual midwife or blogger. We are only interested in what people do to mothers and babies that jeopardizes the safety of, or negatively impacts the experience of, birth. We believe that unhindered birth is safer than birth that is fiddled with, so we are not happy about fiddling, regardless of who does it. If there is some midwife practicing public peer review or slamming other midwives publicly, they are NOT getting encouragement to do that from us. 

   • We believe that women are smart enough to give birth with anyone they choose or with no one. A lot of midwives came on board with Trust Birth initially, and then backed out when they realized that I was saying that mothers own their births and not midwives. And some truly do not believe that a woman's body is capable of giving birth without a midwife or surgeon there. Those who believe that probably should not be a part of what we do, anyway. 

   So that brings me to the big question. I am wondering, why those who are so riled up about Trust Birth take such an interest in slamming what we do and what we believe. How are we hurting you? Or more to the point, how will it hurt you if women take their births back and start trusting that they know how to do this? If they make the rules? If they un-invite you?  -Insert big sigh here-

   I personally wish that there was no need for a Trust Birth movement. I wish I could just help women become authentic "with woman" midwives. But wherever there are lies, there is the need for truth. The idea that birth is a medical event, or even one fraught with danger, is a lie. It doesn't matter who is telling it. Yes, midwives in any setting are usually better than OBs. Home birth is safer than hospital birth. But the truth has not quite been told if you stop at home birth and midwives. To tell women part of the truth and not all of the truth borders on criminal, in my opinion. Tell the whole truth: Birth is MORE safe than not. Interference is MORE risky than not. Birth belongs to the women giving birth and they have the right to choose who is there or not there. PERIOD. Women should be acknowledged, and deferred to, as their own authority and everyone else should agree to be in service to her....not to tell her what to do or give her permission to do what her body knows how to do.

   Now, to you women reading this who are not midwives. Everything the Trust Birth Initiative does is for you and your babies. Even though the bulk of the criticism of the Trust Birth movement comes from midwives with a little slice or two from Dr. Amy, midwifery is peripheral to what we are about. Trust Birth is about helping you. No payment required. No need for titles or officialness. If you want someone to believe in you and help you research and prepare for birth..... or walk with you at any stage of your pregnancy, labor and birth, Trust Birth is here for you. We will help you find the facts and find your power. We want you to fully embrace your ownership of birth. We want to tell you the whole truth, not just the part that serves birth attendants. You were made to do this. That is truth. 

"The truth is incontrovertible, 

malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, 

but in the end; there it is." 

- Winston Churchill

~Carla

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   You heard statements, mumble... mumble: "Oh, WAY too difficult!!!" "They will NEVER make it to the top!!!" or: "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!!!" 

   The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one... Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!!!" More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...  but ONE continued higher and higher and higher. This one wouldn't give up!!! 

   At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top! THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal? It turned out... That the winner was DEAF!!! 

   The wisdom of this story is: NEVER listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic... taking your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you. Always remember the power words have. Because everything you hear and read can effect your actions!!! 

   Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you can not fulfill your dreams!!!

~Carla

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   #1 Throw out your pre-conceived ideas about parenting. Every child you have will be different. Don't expect a girl version and a boy version of the same perfect child. And on that topic, keep in mind that the only child you raise is the first one. The additional major influence from their older siblings will be unique for each one. 

   #2 Don't pray or wish ONLY for success for your children. Failure grows character. "Nothing breeds success like success" only applies to those who have learned that failure is an intricate part of success and that all success takes effort. 

   #3 Don't let your "inner child" raise your children. Don't be the parent you wanted. Be the parent your children need, and that really means being the parent EACH child needs.

   #4 No broken "thing" is worth broken relationships. Accidents happen; keep a dustpan and a mop handy....and I am not just talking about this in a literal sense. Your teens will sometimes disappoint and hurt your feelings. Forgive everything as quickly as you can, and don't hold any grudges against your children...ever.

   #5 Your goal as a parent is to work yourself out of a job. Teach your children to make choices and to accept the reality that there are consequences for all choices.

   #6 My goal as a parent was to help my children keep their list of regrets short. Regret holds way too much power and will often defeat our attempt to "do better" ...see #5

   #7 Be sure that as you introduce the world to your child that you introduce your child to the world. My young children knew that they were part of every aspect of my life and that even my acquaintances knew them by name. The world knew they were mine and I was theirs. Kids want to belong.

   #8 Children should NOT get their way about everything. They need some rules and restrictions. Children do not want to be the most powerful person in their world. If you can't stand up TO them, how confident will they be that you can stand up FOR them. It is a big world out there to little kids and they need someone ELSE to be in charge.

   #9 The best thing to PAY children is attention; the best thing to SPEND on children is time.

Don't fill your days with so many OTHER things that your children feel like they are in competition with anything or anyone for your attention.

   #10 Parent with intention and authenticity. Children won't hear what you say as clearly as they see what you do. You don't just live with your children; you live in front of them. Do that carefully.

   Post Script...Now that I am a Baba:

   #11 If you are not enjoying parenting to a degree that you can't even begin to put into words how much fun you are having, tweak something. The only thing that comes anywhere close is being Baba. 

~Carla

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